i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It's never too late to be topless.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
