i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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