yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
