you're like a bully in the Christmas story
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
