i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
