like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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