I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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