i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
