Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
