I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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