i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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