i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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