she looked like the bat from fern gully.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
