I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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