You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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