like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
