Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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