I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
