I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
