May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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