physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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