That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
