His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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