i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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