True but thats because hes a fetus.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just puked most of my soul out..
God, I missed his penis.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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