Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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