Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
