He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
