was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
