I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
