Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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