so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
