He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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