do herpes really smell.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
