summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
