So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
