he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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