She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
