I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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