My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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