I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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