It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
