I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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