I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
