Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
