Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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