2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
