i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
