no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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