I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
