I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
